All About You Life Coaching and Educational Consultancy

Summer discounts for Transitional Coaching

2010-06-17T04:25:00.000-07:00

Summer is here again, and so are some pretty hefty discounts - I have reduced my prices just for summer but more about that later.

Why the discounts?

There are seasons in coaching as in any other profession. Summer is always the time when people go away and that is often when the stress begins!

For example you are dreading your holiday because although you are going with the person you share your life with, you know you will feel like strangers. How do you get the intimacy back?

Or maybe you are dreading your holiday with the kids - do they drive you up the wall? Are they always bored?

Perhaps this will be the first break you have had since your children left home or they told you they did not want to go with you, so what will you do?

Maybe this will be the first break you have had alone, since since your partner left or died?

There again, maybe this is a summer of uncertainty, and given the numbers of possible redundancies and the amount of small businesses feeling the pinch, it would be odd if you did not feel a little cautious.

To talk about your next steps or your new business plan, give me a ring. 020 8508 2512 (UK) or email: suetaylorcoach@aol.com

I also work with families or couples as a mentor so, when you are ready to talk, give me a ring,

Discounts: Prices now start from £50 for a thirty minute call, when booked as part of a six week package. You can pay using Paypal on my website, or by cheque.

There are other discounts on the site too for Federation of Small Business and Epping Forest Chamber of Commerce members, so why not take a look at my site today?

Sue Taylor
All About You, Life Coaching and Educational Consultancy
Loughton
www.educationalconsultancy.co.uk
020 8508 2512

I offer face to face coaching in Epping Forest, Waltham Forest and Redbridge areas. I also offer coaching by phone or email.

Summer issues with pets

2010-06-17T04:17:00.000-07:00

Tips for summer petcare, from the Petcoach www.petcoaching.vpweb.co.uk

Under the Animal Welfare Act, when you bring an animal into your home you must make provision for its care. One of the things you will do when you work with Sue as your coach / mentor is to learn about your legal and moral responsibilities as a pet owner not just in the immediate period after bringing your puppy or rescue dog home, but in years to come - because dogs and cats can and do live for 10 to 20 years, and in the case of cats, sometimes even longer.

Things to think about this summer are:

•Have you factored in the cost of care for your pets along with all of your other holiday expenses? Sometimes the cost of caring for pets can be more expensive than your hotel bill, but you are obliged to care for your animals by law (the Animal Welfare Act) and you cannot just leave them to fend for themselves while you sun yourself on the beach.

•A cheaper alternative might be to use a house sitter, who will also look after your plants, turn lights on and off and pick up your post. Generally dog walkers are not insured if your dogs are left alone at night, so dogs may have to be placed in a holiday kennel if you do not have a friendly relative willing to move in to your house while you are away.

•If you use a dog walker / dog sitter, do they arrive in their own vans or cars covered in advertising for their services? If they do, they will also be advertising that you are not at home. Ask them to park around the corner and walk to your house.

•Have you updated your pet's annual vaccinations? Pets must be vaccinated before they will be accepted by holiday kennels, so to avoid a last minute rush, book your pets in for their vaccinations today!

•Do you leave your pet indoors for long periods at the weekends without any company? This is more likely to happen on summer weekends when you and your family go to the beach, the hills or just the shops, but if your dog has been left alone a lot during the week, is this really fair? Why not take him with you, so you can all enjoy the weekends together.

•Do you take your dog for long walks in the country? If so, do you also take a water bowl, a bottle of water and flask of ice for him and you to share. Dogs cannot sweat like humans, so if you see them panting, give them a drink.

•Never leave a dog in the back of a car, especially if it is sunny. Dogs die that way. The RSPCA has some good advice about this on its website: http://www.rspca.org.uk/allaboutanimals/pets/dogs/health/keepdogscool

•Many dog owners buy five door cars, so their dog can sit in the back. At the very least you should leave a window open but even then your dog will heat up quickly and if they are in a crate - the metal will heat up too! Sun screens on your car windows (meant to protect young children from the sun) might help, but whatever you do, your dog will suffer if they are confined in the car for any length of time. Stop regularly, take them out and give them a drink to cool them down. You can buy food dispensers for dogs and I put ice in one so Hannah, my dog, can crunch up the cubes while I am driving.

•Trips out and about to new and interesting places pose a special risk for your dog. Think: is that plant dangerous? Is it healthy for your dog to eat someone's discarded sandwich? Will that pebble choke him if he tries to swallow it? Seems a daft question, but can your dog swim? I once had a collie who hated water. Had he fallen into a pond or the sea, he would have panicked as he did on the first occasion we invited him in for a swim!

•It is sometimes said that cats do not need water, unless they are fed on dry food. Don't you believe it! If your cat is outside provide a source of water and place it in the shade and not in full sun. Never leave tinned food out for your cat - it will soon be covered in flies and your cat will never touch it.

•Does your cat or dog have long hair? Do you brush it regularly and in the case of a dog, have you considered giving him or her a haircut in summer? It is a myth that cats instinctively hate water, if introduced to it at a young age many cats do enjoy a dip when the temperature rises.

•Finally, if your dog or cat is light coloured, don't forget the sunscreen!

Have a good summer and don't forget to subscribe to Sue's free newsletter, packed with seasonal tips: suetaylorcoach@aol.com Please put petcoaching newsletter in the header, or your email may be deleted as spam.

New Service

2010-03-21T15:16:00.000-07:00

I already offer a range of different courses for women, but this course is something a little different.

The course is called Planning to Care. It has been designed for people who are thinking about buying a pet, but who want to think it through first. That isn't always very easy when you have a couple of children badgering you for a cat or a dog.

Planning to care is a course of coaching sessions for families as well as individuals that enable you to consider the full implications of pet ownership, prior to visiting a rehoming centre or a breeder.

The concept is similar to pre-marriage coaching. Its purpose is to ensure that new pet owners know exactly what they are getting into before they acquire a cat, a dog or any other pet.

Coaching is especially helpful when there are children in the family and they are the ones who want pets. Coaching will enable them, along with their parents, to understand an animal’s care needs and the level of work required to provide a dog or cat with a comfortable and loving home environment.

At the end of the course everyone in the family will understand the pros and cons of responsible pet ownership. The idea of coaching is not to discourage pet ownership, far from it.

This course is an excellent way to ensure your children understand just what taking on a pet actually means in real terms. Coaching takes place in your own home in Epping Forest, Waltham Forest or Redbridge – or with individuals by phone.

All About You believes that all animals deserve owners who fully understand their responsibilities to care and train their pets. Coaching will help you explore your reasons for wanting a pet and will help you choose the most appropriate pet for your own personal circumstances.

Animal bereavement

2010-03-19T06:07:00.000-07:00

We lost our dog, Bear, a few years ago now (in the photo) and some time later our cat, Tiggy, died. We still miss them terribly, although we now have Poppy our cat (in the photo) and Hannah our dog, who recently joined us.

Whenever we lose someone we love - animal or human - it hurts, but when a human loved one dies everyone offers support. When a beloved pet dies, people who have never been there assume that we can get over it in a day or two, or they expect us to go out and replace our pet with another - as though they were a broken down car or a washing machine.

I know people who have grieved for years after the loss of a pet. They hurt because they cannot share their loss and also because other people do not take them seriously and they do not have anything to fill the hole left by their cat or dog.

All About You is now offering bereavement coaching for people who have lost a pet, whether it be recent or even years ago. It will help you plan for the future - so as to be able to acknowledge your grief while filling the hole the death of your pet has left.

The question people want to know is why does it hurt so much? It hurts because you have lost someone who was an important part of your life.

Bereavement can overwhelm you.

Coaching can help you manage your loss by allowing you space to talk about your pet to someone who understands how you feel. Coaching will enable you to look forward to life without your beloved pet and to work out what you intend to do to fill they hole their death has left.

You may be undecided as to whether or not you will take another animal into your life or may need to talk through other issues that impact on your happiness.

Coaching is not bereavement counselling, which is usually available following the death of a relative or close friend. It will offer you a way forward so you can hold on to your memories while coping with your loss.

Coaching conducted by email or phone: suetaylorcoach@aol.com

The Loughton Festival

2010-02-20T11:05:00.000-08:00

The 2010 Loughton Festival runs from 13 March – 3 May 2010. Loughton is in Essex, and is on the eastern end of the Central Line tube, some 30 minutes from the centre of town. Buses come into the town from Essex, Walthamstow and Ilford and it is near the M25 and M11. There are 1,300 acres of Epping Forest in Loughton and some of the events are held at High Beach.

The programme includes:

Art: three art exhibitions, and an art event in the heart of Epping Forest where you can watch artists at work and have a go yourself. For the children, the same event will offer art and craft activities.

Architecture: two talks (Sir Frederick Gibberd and Sir Frank Baines) and a six-week class about early ‘Essex Houses and Landscapes’. The venues are all five minutes walk from Loughton Tube Station.

Literature and Creative Writing: Dr Tony Williams will present 'The greatest place in the world': Dickens, Chigwell and Barnaby Rudge on 17 April, followed by readings of other once famous Victorian writers' including Arthur Morrison, WW Jacobs and Hesba Stretton, and Edwardian and Victorian Songs by Carl Murray (baritone). There will also be a creative writers event on another date. Please check the website.

Charity raising: every one of our events will be raising money for the £100,000 hydrotherapy appeal by Oak View Special School and Dream Factory, a charity that makes the dreams of seriously ill children come true.

See the Loughton Festival website (www.loughtonfestival.org) for more details or email info@loughtonfestival.org.uk

What is the difference between coaching and counselling?

2010-02-12T11:24:00.000-08:00

I belong to several coaching groups and the same question keeps on coming up over and over again. What is coaching? The latest version of that question asks for the difference between 'traditional coaching and counselling'. That question made me think and write this blog.

I deal with the basic differences between coaching and counselling on my website: www.educationalconsultancy.co.uk

Coaching and counselling are entirely different practices and it did not surprise me that the latest person to ask this question lives in Holland, which like the UK, still does not recognise coaching as being something for everyone. Part of my answer to this question follows:

"Counselling: it takes years to achieve a recognised diploma that is verified by the UK Government quality agencies. You can see why people wanting to get into this area of work often choose the coaching root. Also, all (I may be wrong about this) counselling courses are run by Universities, Colleges and other state funded institutions. If a smaller provider in the voluntary sector (say a rape crisis centre) offers a counselling course, they have to be quality checked by an external moderator and run a recognised programme before they get any funding. I externally moderated counselling courses for many years, until last summer in fact. People who ran the courses had to be very rigorous in what they offered and in the work their students' achieved but at least you know that a student with a counselling qualification received the same level and quality of education that any other student in the country following the same course would have achieved - and that gives reassurance to their clients.

Coaching has no such system and most training is carried out by private businesses which judging by the fees they charge their students must be extremely wealthy by now. Some are brilliant, others more about making money than in training coaches. There is so much money out there for people who train and market coaches, you do sometimes wonder who is actually doing the coaching. You never see success /failure rates of schools, or graduate numbers as you would with counselling."

The International Coach Federation "defines coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential" http://www.coachfederation.org/

So there you are

Coaching courses, the way forward

2010-01-10T06:32:00.000-08:00

I am writing this because an online group I belong to is presently discussing if accreditation makes a difference to whether or not someone is a good life coach. In other words, should coaches be trained or do some people naturally possess coaching characteristics that make them good coaches.

I am not going to answer that question here, but I do want to discuss the accreditation and training that is available in the UK for aspiring coaches.

There is no gold standard or any one qualification that makes someone a Life Coach. There are a couple of qualifications offered nationally, one by Edexcel and the other by OCN and there are also a couple of courses validated by or run in association with a university or college. All of these courses are standardised, externally moderated courses that can be trusted in terms of quality and rigor and cost only a few hundred pounds to complete.

For example:
http://www.openstudycollege.com/courses/ocn-life-coaching-course.html

http://www.learning-at-home.co.uk/life-coaching-course-level-with-learning-credits-p-2402.html

http://www.distance-learning-centre.co.uk/products/202/LIFE_COACHING_COURSE.htm

https://store.oxfordcollege.ac/product_info.php?products_id=41&gclid=CNmQsZbEjZ8CFQWIzAodw1WCMg

http://www.reed.co.uk/LearningCentre/Course/Details/4692/?SubjectID=12

There is also a plethora of different coaching schools offering an array of certificates and diplomas. These are mostly distance learning courses, with the added bonus of a two or three day attendance programme. Unlike counselling, which coaching is often compared to, there are no supervised hours of coaching required as part of the accreditation process and there appears to be no consistent idea of what the ‘gold standard’ of coaching looks like, let alone whether or not it has been met by one of the private training courses on offer.

Selling coaching courses is a multimillion-pound business and if we could get hold of the figures, we would probably find that far more money is made from training coaches than from coaching. There is possibly food for thought in that….. but what marks out the main differences between the different accreditation paths is the cost of the course. OCN costs a few hundred pounds whereas private coaching schools can cost several thousand, yet at the end of the day, most people end up with an OCN certificate that is included in many of the accreditation packages and if people have paid for a coaching school diploma, that is what they get.

A qualification really should have some currency; some value that other people recognise. We all know what someone means when they say they have a degree, irrespective of where they studied. There is no similarly agreed standard within coaching because it is not taught in public colleges or universities: a student graduating from a coaching school is only as good as the school they attended and there is no way to compare one coaching school with another.

To draw a parallel: in the UK, anyone can set himself or herself up as a counsellor, but unless they belong to the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy they are unlikely to be employed by public bodies or by well-informed clients. Counselling courses are usually taught in colleges and universities where external moderators ensure quality. This means that students can be assured they will be supervised properly on a quality controlled professional programme of study.

Coaching needs this kind of regulation before it will come to be seen as a valued profession. There is a great deal of difference between saying to a client ‘I have a certificate from xxx coaching school’ (which the client has probably never heard of) and ‘I have a certificate from xxx university’, which clients recognise and trust.

Most of the big coaching schools offer free certified ‘training events’. They are in fact opportunities for their sales staff, who are coaches, to offer one or more activities to would-be coaches before they start their hard sell.

What I found surprising at the sales events I attended in 2009 is that neither mentioned they accredited their programmes with OCN accreditation and considering that this was the only real qualification they offered I found that surprising. The main thing on offer at many schools is the coaching school diploma that I heard referred to in the different presentations as a ‘qualification’. It isn’t! There is no qualification requirement in coaching, and a coaching school diploma is not a recognised qualification, although within the profession some training organisations are more respected than others and some coaches may be more highly esteemed because of the coaching school they trained with but I am not sure how that impacts on private clients who are just as happy to accept a certificate that cost a few hundred pounds.

This does not mean that coaching schools are dishonest or that their fees are not worth paying. I certainly enjoyed the course I did and am about to embark on another, just for the sake of it. What I am arguing for is that prospective students should be told the truth about what their diplomas or certificates are really worth. If regulations do come in, some people might find they will have to retrain or demonstrate their ability to coach, even though by then they will have held a coaching certificate for many years. Seems unfair, somehow.

Perhaps the only way to deal with this is to close down all of the private coaching schools and start again, offering coaching courses in regulated colleges and universities? Somehow I don’t think that will happen, do you?

New Year, Old Resolutions

2010-01-02T13:30:00.000-08:00

All About You Life Coaching & Educational Consultancy (UK)

www.educationalconsultancy.co.uk

Go on, be honest. Did you make a New Year’s Resolution?

Some people are like Cinderella. They hope their fairy godmother will appear and with a wave of her magic wand, they will go to the ball; until then, they do nothing other than sit in the cinders and wait for someone else to make things possible. And like Cinderella, people have lots of really good reasons why they cannot do what they say they really want to do. Cinderella felt she could not go to the ball because she had nothing to wear, her hair was in a mess, she did not have transport, her sisters bullied her, because, because….

Life Coaches hear excuses all the time, even from people who really want to change their lives for the better, but change is like winning the lottery, you have to buy a ticket to stand a chance of winning. You have to take control of your life if you want it to change, but a lot of people never do this. They coast along, feeling powerless and trapped in stale relationships and boring jobs or they feel their habits trap them, so they have no choice but to smoke, drink too much, take drugs or eat too much chocolate cake. They say they cannot help it. They say they are made that way.

So, when some people make New Year's Resolutions they are very unlikely to keep them without a bit of help. The word ‘resolution’ comes from a Latin word (resolutionem), which means solving a problem by breaking something down into many parts, which is what Life Coaches are trained to do. They ask questions that probe their client’s intention to change, they help them set goals that are achievable and check up every week to make sure the goals have been met.

It is far easier to keep a resolution if you have someone working alongside you who will not listen to your excuses during your face-to-face, phone or email conversations.

Life Coaching Courses

2009-12-10T14:00:00.000-08:00

Are companies selling coaching courses truly honest with their clients?
I am a UK coach - and also an educational consultant, an area I have worked in for many years. Maybe it is the recession, but I have noticed that certain coaching companies are becoming much more vigorous in the way they are marketing their courses. I have been to a couple of free courses with a friend who wants to train and while I find the courses entertaining (and useful CPD!), I do find the information they give out misleading.

In the UK, the word qualification has a specific meaning, it is usually an award that has been accredited by an external body. A college or training company certificate is not a qualification, as such, but the OCN / EDEXCEL certificates that most people end up with is, because they are nationally validated and quality checked by an external qualifications agency which is regulated by the Government.

You can get the OCN certificate from around £400 by distance learning (from Newcastle College etc.) - or you can pay £4,000 + to achieve it, when it is bundled together with training company certificates in a programme that provides (when you read the small print) only a couple of days attendance and then distance learning for the rest of the programme. At the end of the day, a new coach will emerge from the programme with an OCN certificate, and a training certificate from the trainers that they have been told qualifies them as a coach.

Why am I writing this? I spent last weekend sitting in a London hotel with my friend. The weekend was advertised as a free certificate course although it was made clear to those who attended that the only certificate they would receive was a certificate of attendance which they had to complete themselves. Over lunch on the first day there were a lot of groans and moans about that - some people really did think they would come away with a certificate that qualified them to coach, and it was noticeable that many people did not return on the second day even though the presenters were excellent.

Listening to the presenters tell the would-be coaches that they would become qualified training coaches once they bought into their diploma programme annoyed me. There isn't as far as I know, one coaching qualification and although the company's accreditation booklet said they accredited the programme with OCN, this was never once mentioned. I found that deeply disappointing because I feel honesty is so important.

The Qualifications and Curriculum Development Agency regulates qualifications and the list of accredited qualifications can be found at www.ndaq.org.uk

Only Wednesday, but it feels like Friday!

2009-12-09T10:57:00.000-08:00

"It is only Wednesday, but it feels like Friday". That is one of those sentences that can be read in different ways:

it is only midweek but the week already seems to be going on forever;
it is Wednesday today and tomorrow is Thursday, which will be much like today - boring!
it feels like Friday, which is the day before the weekend when nice things happen.
I like Fridays because that is the day I get paid. Today I found the money I thought I lost last week!

We have all heard about perceiving a cup as being half empty or half full, but why do some people always look at things negatively? Is it because things for them are always 'half empty' or is it because they like it that way?

Sounds crazy, doesn't it - people wanting things to be bad, but some people really like to feel sorry for themselves. For one thing, when bad things happen they have something to talk to others about; the alternative is another unexciting chat about the weather or the latest soap opera. When people complain they usually receive attention and sympathy from their long suffering friends and their victim status gives them power over other people, who may rush around trying to 'make things better' for them.

I was speaking today to someone who I shall call Valerie (not her real name) who discovered last year that she had breast cancer. After two operations and some horrible treatment she woke up two weeks ago with terrible pains in her chest. Thinking she was having a heart attack Valerie's husband called an ambulance and she was rushed to hospital where the doctors found that a blood clot had lodged itself a little way from her heart. Medical intervention at the right time probably saved her life.

If you were Valerie, would you bemoan your bad luck, the operations, the medication, the restrictions that illness has placed on you or would you be like Valerie today and thank God that you were still alive? This week Valerie went back to work, even though she still hasn't entirely regained her strength, even though she has difficulty walking and even though her prognosis is unclear.

For Valerie and people who share her experiences, every day is a bonus, whether it is Wednesday, Thursday or Friday! She told me that she feels that going back to work demonstrates she is regaining the life that illness temporarily took away from her, and that she is (as she said to me today) "on the way back to normal".

None of us know what is just around the corner, and if you find that the least thing tips you over into victim mode, then stop and ask yourself why. Why do you feel so low when something frustrates you, when people do not do what you want them to, when the traffic is slow, you cannot find your red socks, or it is raining outside, yet again?

Why not ask yourself why such little things affect you so much when people like Valerie can sail through such choppy seas?

It might be because Valerie is being coached that she is so positive. Coaching is focusing her mind on the things she can do to improve her situation. It is giving her some control over her life, which is the one thing you lose when you are seriously ill.

I think the reason why she has responded as she has is because she has a 'cup half full' attitude.

Rather than look back and bemoan her bad fortune, Valerie focuses her gaze on the days yet to come. She is planning ahead, for the Christmas she did not think she would see; her 2010 summer holiday in Florida and her next challenge at work.

Every day is a bonus when you thought your days would be reduced by cancer. Yes, Valerie could have moaned to me today about the chemotherapy, the hair loss, the sickness, but instead she remained positive and was thankful for the care she received from her medical team and their ability to make her better again.

The cup half full mentality not only made her life far happier; it also ensured that her loved ones were not burdened by their inability to make things better for her. Her gift to them was to allow them to get on with their lives, for which I am sure they are very grateful. It is so easy for something like cancer to take over a whole family so they can think of nothing else.

So, back to my question about why people see their cup as being half empty, rather than half full. Seeing life negatively is a habit, a bit like smoking or alcoholism. Do it too often and it damages your life and those around you unless you break the habit and develop new ones.

People who live with half empty cups enjoy being victims, they enjoy the attention their woes receive and they trap their friends and relatives into a cycle of sympathy and angst. Being a victim is a very powerful position to be in - no wonder people are reluctant to change.

Coaching really does make a difference, as does prayer if you are religious or eating a bar of chocolate if that is your comforter, but if your 'mind chatter' tells you that you that everything is bad then don't listen to it. Argue back and as my old friend Maud used to say, "count your blessings". You have many, if you only want to look and find them.

Sue
http://www.educationalconsultancy.co.uk/

Life is theatre

2009-12-01T01:42:00.000-08:00

My first blog should start with a 'who am I?' type entry. So, who am I? Well, I have been trying to work that out for years, but I am like everyone else and nobody else. I am me, and me and me.....

I have roles: I am a wife, mother, daughter, grandmother, friend and .... oh yes, I am now a Life Coach.

Not that this list is it, you understand. I am more things in different contexts. Like everyone else, I suppose, what I do depends on where I am and who I am with.

Erving Goffman (1968) said that we all play roles according to where we are and who we are with. We learn the roles from our environment: family, carers, friends and today he would probably say the media, and especially the TV.

Not all roles are appropriate, some challenge, others offend, but they are all roles like any other that you see on a stage: learnt and internalised so that we become who we think we are with all of the trappings of that role: the props, the status symbols, the cars, the rings, the fashion that identify who we think we are to other people.

So, what role do you play, what props do you use, which lines do you choose to say and why do you choose that role?

At times it is good to step out of our roles and to take a good hard look at ourselves, where we are and where we want to be.

If where you are is not where you want to be, what are you doing to change that?

Have a good one!